Grasping for Control
by HauntedLover
Summary: Juliet is often loved by the people she arrests, she gets Christmas cards from them. What happens when someone from her past makes her world crash down around her. Will Carlton and Shawn make it though the retrubution? Strong subject matter and slight whump for Shawn and Lassie. Shules, Carlowe. Rating: strong T.
1. prologue

_AN: Hello everyone, this is my first story on here. Hope you guys'll like it. I hate to admit it but I love me a bit of Lassie and Shawn whump, I just happen to be a jerk too. On an off note, I adore Lassie and Shawn._

_This story has sensitive material that may be triggering to some people so please be cautious. This story is high T rating but nothing too detailed, only alluded to. _

_Also, I don't have internet so I'll update when I can._

_I don't own any characters or places found in Psych. I don't own Psych. this story takes place sometime in season 7, after the wedding but before Trout._

Grasping for Control

Prologue

Slender fingertips drummed atop of a hardwood desk. Juliet O'Hara's eyes felt wet as she tried desperately to focus on her paper work. She bit her lip as her gaze drifted over to look at her partner.

_More tears streamed down her cheeks with each thrust of the man's hips. She cried out in muffled protest, begging him to stop behind her gag._

She felt the bile rise up in her throat. She watched Lassiter slowly, painfully, limp towards his desk. The man's attempt to keep working was agonizing to look at with the knowledge of his pain ringing in her mind.

_A sob caught in her throat as a grunt of discomfort escaped her partner. She bit against the cloth gag, ignoring where it ate into the corners of her mouth. She had to help him!_

She quickly shut her eyes and fought back the tears that threatened to make themselves known. Guilt welled in her chest, eating at her insides, knowing she was the cause of his pain. She felt like gagging as she heard him curse softly as it was followed by the sound of case files falling to the floor. The event only made worse by his grunt of pain as he knelt to pick them up.

_Her captors cut her bonds, she rushed forward on the dirty ground. She skidded to a halt on her knees, landing next to her dazed partner. She tenderly pulled him close, careful of his damaged ribs. She cooed weakly too him, pressing her nose to his short sweat-slicked hair. She felt nausea boil in her stomach as a familiar and normally welcome smell mixed with sweat and his natural masculine scent. _

_"__Oh, Carlton… P-please, f-forgive me…."_

She quickly pushed her chair away from her desk, springing to her feet. She had to leave, had to get away from him. It just hurt her too much to know it was all her fault.

She swallowed hard and looked at her watch, it was almost noon. She nodded and rushed for the door. She would grab some lunch for her and Lassiter, as a sign of apology, so he would not have to get up to eat.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Shawn pulled open the door to the SBPD, a hum on his lips. He happily waltzed in, Gus in stride behind him. He smiled softly as he looked about; the department was almost completely empty due to the parade. He couldn't ask for a better time to chat up his lover since she was currently on desk duty.

He glanced towards her desk and frowned; she wasn't there. He sadly looked about, thinking maybe she was getting some coffee or was in the bathroom. He bit his lip as he didn't see her but his thoughts were pulled from him as Gus tugged on his arm, forcing him to look at something.

He gasped softly, his heart skipping a beat as he finally saw Juliet. She was sitting on a corner of Lassiter's desk. Her back to them but Shawn could see her fingers resting gently in her partner's hair as held a fork to his lips.

Confusion, hurt, and anger welled up in Shawn's chest. His hands slowly turned to shaky fists as he watched her press her nose to Lassie's hair before the man finally accepted the forkful of food. Something about watching his love feed her partner made Shawn's blood boil as all of Juliet's touches were much too intimate for just friends.

His anger started to dwindle and his confusion grew as he saw Lassiter turn away from Juliet. The man gently moved her hand away and got up too slowly. Something within Shawn felt sick as Lassiter turned away and started to leave down a hall, his walk not more than an agonizingly slow limp. Shawn watched Juliet follow him, something was wrong with the pair but he couldn't put his finger on it.

Intent on finding an answer, he grabbed Gus' sleeve. He pulled his surprised friend to the male detective's desk; they had to find an answer. His friend was reluctant but finally followed.

...P...

Juliet swallowed weakly, her knees shaking slightly as she entered the police station with a bag of food in hand. She bit her lip; she had plenty of time before Shawn came for his daily visit. Lassiter would only clam up and pull away if Juliet's bubbly lover was there.

Taking a deep breath, she walked towards her partner's desk. The walk felt longer than usual. Her internal pain heightening as she looked him over, his split lip drawing her attention. It wasn't unusual that he ignored her and just kept working.

"H-hey partner…" She whispered softly, sitting down on the corner of his desk. The invasion of his personal space made him flinch slightly before looking up at her in confusion. A need to know why she was sitting on his desk could be seen in his eyes.

She smiled weakly and held up a white container. The name of a pancake house on the top, making Lassiter blink slowly as Juliet studied his features.

"Y-you didn't have breakfast this morning before we came to work… Y-you haven't eaten in t-two days, t-thought you might be hungry." She whispered softly as she opened the container. Lassiter frowned softly, the sight of food making his stomach turn. Juliet sighed softly, slowly cutting the pancakes to tiny pieces. She found herself glad that nobody else was there as she forked a piece of pancake, gently pressing it to her partner's mouth. The man frowned softly and moved his mouth away.

"O'Hara, I'm capable of feeding myself." He growled weakly. Juliet could only shake her head softly as she gazed down at his right hand, the last three fingers were straightened and bandaged in a small headscarf that Shawn had gotten Juliet. The hand was practically useless, he could barely write. Juliet wished that he had stayed at the hospital when they went this morning for a bloodtest.

_Juliet tried to hold back a sob and a whimper as she straightened Lassiter's fingers, pulling a cry of pain from him. She pulled the scarf off her head and gently but securely wrapped them with it, tight just enough so he couldn't move them too much._

_"I-I'll fix t-this, C-Carlton…"_

She moved her free hand up, gently resting the fingers in his hair. She brought the fork to his lips again, trying to get him to eat.

"Please, Carlton, just a bite. W-we need to get your blood sugar up." Her soft, caring words made him sigh. He knew she was right; he couldn't risk Marlowe getting scared if he passed out. The phone call to her this morning had been painful enough when he lied to her about where he had been.

Juliet pressed her nose to his hair, softly begging him again to eat. He flinched softly at her closeness but with the soft grinding of teeth, Lassiter weakly accepted the forkful of food. His stomach turned slightly at his submissiveness but let her feed him a bit more. Her gentle touches to his hair helped his body relax enough that he could actually stomach the food.

His gaze flashed up as he heard something by the station door. His food got caught in his throat as he saw Spencer standing back and gawking at them. Lassiter shut his eyes as he gently moved Juliet's hand away before stiffly pulling away from Juliet; he could clearly imagine what was going through Spencer's mind. He shakily got up, knees threatening to give out on him. He turned to leave, Juliet softly asking where he was going. He didn't answer but started to limp towards one of the halls.

Lassiter hissed softly in agony. His inner muscles below his belt burned with each movement. He gasped softly as each limped step sent the burning ache up his spine. He groaned softly as Juliet joined him, arm wrapping around his waist to help him walk.

...P...

Slightly in a confused huffed, Shawn flopped down in Lassiter's chair. He pushed the leftover pancakes to the side, sighing as Gus began to eat them.

"Dude, you do realize it was Lassie eatting those, right?"

"He's not going to finish them." Shawn could only roll his eyes but let Gus continue eating. He tried to ignore his munching friend as he searched the detective's desk. Everyone knew how lovey-dovey Lassiter was around Marlowe, if he was cheating with Jules then there had to be love notes somewhere.

He scrounged hurriedly, checking Lassiter's unlocked drawers. He found a picture of Lassiter's "vampire" bride smiling and looking cheery. The picture had his heart sink, if the detectives were cheating then they'd be tearing apart two loving couples.

Shawn was quickly pulled from his thoughts as Lassiter's cell phone rang from its place to the side of Lassiter's computer. The fake psychic frowned at it but snatched it up, it could be a case.

"Hello?" He greeted softly, thinking it might be Marlowe looking for Lassiter.

"This is Dr. Brinney. Am I speaking to Detective Carlton Lassiter?" The person didn't sound frantic or scared but the person being a doctor made Shawn uneasy. Was something wrong with Lassie?

"Yes, this is Lassiter." He replied, ignoring the strange look he was getting from Gus.

"Good, I'm glad. I called to tell you that we've analyzed your tests."

"Tests?" Shawn swallowed, what tests would Lassie need?

"Yes, the one from this morning. I'm happy to say it came out negative." Shawn sent a worried glance over to a confused looking Gus.

"Negative for what, miss?"

"For what you were worried about, Sir. There are no seen traces of STDs in your system, Detective." Shawn was starting to feel a bit sick.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"STDs?" Gus blinked in surprise as the question left Shawn's mouth.

"Yes, Sexually Transmitted Diseases, Detective." Shawn swallowed tightly, his stomach turning. Why would Lassiter be getting this now? Why not when he and Marlowe first started sleeping together? He shook his head and bit his lip weakly as the doctor continued, "Detective, as an official of the law, you must understand the importance of getting yourself treated after what happened to you."

Sickening realization welled up in Shawn as his brilliant mind finally put all the pieces together. When he had seen Lassie earlier, something had been off with the man. Memories of a split and swollen bottom lip, bandaged and straightened fingers on the man's main hand, and then there had been the dazed look in the man's blue eyes.

"Y-yes, thank you, Doctor. I'll think about. Goodbye." He swallowed and hung up the phone shakily. Gus blinked at him, having finished the detective's food.

"What was that all about, Shawn?" The psychic looked up at his friend's question.

"G-gus… I-I think there's something w-wrong with Lassie… H-he's not cheating on Marlowe; I think he's hurt… Him and Jules are covering it up."

"Why cover it up, Shawn? Everyone knows that Lassie's bound to get into a bit of a scrap now and again." Gus commented, looked unconvinced of Shawn's idea. Shawn quickly shook his head, rubbing a hand over his face much like his dad.

"No, Gus, don't you see it?"

"See what?"

"What's wrong with Lassie." He looked up, staring Gus straight in the eye, "The doctor said they were checking for STDs…"

"So?"

"Gus…! Didn't you see Lassie?! He's exhausted looking and his lip was split. He and Jules aren't sleeping together; she was trying to coax him to eat! A-and when they left, he could barely walk; he was limping…!" Shawn frantically hissed in a high-pitched whisper. He watched his best friend's face closely; he could not bear to say the verdict out lout and needed Gus to figure it out on his own. He nibbled his lip, watching the blank look on Gus' face to turn to that of sick realization.

"Oh my go-!" Shawn quickly slapped a hand over Gus' mouth so he wouldn't be heard. He got up and quickly dragged his friend towards Chief Vick's office. Shawn needed to know where Jules and Lassie had been the past three days.

...P...

Lassiter slumped down into a hard plastic chair against a wall in the station. He hissed softly in pain, the deep, burning ache in his muscles searing through him. The heated throb made it hard to find a comfortable position to rest in.

His eyes slipped shut as a groan escaped him, his body once more shifting in the uncomfortable furniture. He could hear the echoing clack of O'Hara's heels as she crouched beside him. He sensed her worry as she gently took his undamaged hand in hers.

He could feel her fingers fidget anxiously against his as he took a painful breath. He frowned softly and tried to ignore her. Sadly, he could not avoid the scared concern in her voice.

"Carlton, p-please." Juliet swallowed hard and looked him over in worry, "C-carlton, you can barely breathe. Please, let me take you to the hospital." Her frantic plea made him open his eyes. He frowned slightly back at her.

"O'Hara, this case is fresh and we must track these S. down now. We do not have time for me to be lying around in a hospital all week…!" He shifted and gritted his teeth; the feeling of his broken ribs rubbing close together ate at his nerves. He tried to ignore how the pain made it near impossible to breath as the fractured bone pressed heavily against his left lung. His situation forcing him to refuse looking into Juliet's eyes; unwilling to see the pain there.

"Those maniacs are coming back. I will not have my partner put at risk because I'm in the hospital." His words made Juliet feel sick. She looked away, tears in her eyes as she gently pulled her hand away from him. Nausea rolled in her stomach as she whimpered softly.

_Juliet blinked back her tears as she moved her wrists against her bonds as they kept her strapped to her chair. She squirmed and whimpered as she looked over at her partner who sat strapped to a different chair, only a few feet in front of her. She watched his gaze become unfocused as he glared at the wall despite him looking over to check on her every once in a while. _

_His worry for her made her feel dirty. It was her fault, her past that put them in this situation. Though, Juliet was not sure she would be able to get them out of this. She tried desperately to ignore these thoughts as a young woman, about Juliet's age, walked out of the shadows. _

_"Well, Switchblade, long time no see." The woman greeted Juliet softly as she circled the pair of detectives, pulling closer to Lassiter, "But sadly, you're not here for a friendly visit." She snarled softly, hand going to rest on Lassiter's shoulder, fingertip pressing in painfully._

_"I need you to tell me where the maps are stashed. And I need to know now!" Her voice hit a pitch that made Juliet flinch, "You tell me and I'll let you two run free." Juliet opened her mouth but was quickly cut off as Lassiter spoke first._

_"The police don't make compromises with criminals." His defiant words didn't seem to sit well with the woman, making her face twist into a sneer. A loud snarl escaped the woman as her reprimand came as way of her fist colliding with his jaw, splitting his lip and leaving him dazed._

_"No talking from you!" She turned on Juliet as the woman's hand rested over Lassiter's, gripping his pinky, "I am not asking for much, but anymore defiance and your partner pays the price!"_

_"O'Hara, don't you dare make a deal with this whackado!" The events after his command happened with a sickening pace, making Juliet's head spin. There was an angry shout from the woman, a loud crack, and a poorly muffled cry of pain from Lassiter as his finger was snapped._

"P-please, Carlton… I-I have to fix this, let me help you…" Juliet wasn't much one for crying, but she could not stop the flowing emotions over her partner's torment, "Just let me take you to the hospital to get your fingers fixed… O-otherwise they won't heal, y-you won't be able to hold a gun again." She whispered softly, she hated blackmailing him but she had to help him.

...P...

Chief Vick looked up as she heard the soft clack of her office door opening. She sighed softly as Shawn and Gus not so stealthily slipped in. She was a bit surprised at the lack of smiles on their faces.

"Mr. Spencer, Mr. Guster, what can I do for you today?" She asked softly, putting down her file and resting her folded hands on it. She watched them slip into the chairs before her desk and fidget slightly.

"Gentlemen, is there something wrong?" Shawn nibbled his lip, fingers tapping on his knees.

"Chief, Jules and Lassie were gone for like three days. Where were they?" The question shouldn't have seemed so odd to her but she sighed.

"Well, Mr. Spencer. The detectives were sent to a mandatory detective's seminar. They both requested that you not know until after the fact. Why?" Shawn tapped his foot anxiously as he listened to her reply.

"N-nothing, Chief. …Just, I don't think Lassie and Jules made it too that seminar…"


	4. Chapter 3

_A/N: Sorry for the short chapter. I felt like I just needed to update._

Chapter 3

The boys sat quietly after a vague "psychic vision" as a groan escaped the chief. She sighed softly, fingers rubbing the bridge of her nose. She didn't like it when her detectives lied to her, and just how could they lie about something like this? She looked up, gaze shifting over to Shawn.

"Mr. Spencer, are you sure this is correct? Have the spirits told you where they did end up?" Shawn swallowed and shook his head, scratching the back of his neck. He took a deep breath, he hadn't told her all that he had figured out. He found himself wondering how much more he should say.

"No, Chief. The spirits are only telling me that they never made it to that seminar and wherever they ended up, put them in harm's way." He shifted position as Vick looked thoughtful.

Anger welled up in Karen as she thought over the morning with the detectives. The two had come in, Lassiter with his hands in his pockets (which was very odd) where O'Hara had barely been able to stand still and looked like she had been crying.

Karen could remember spotting Lassiter's split lip and had noticed the pained limp he had. She had called him on it; he had lied straight to her face.

_"Sorry, Chief. My foot got caught on a tree root in the forest and I tripped. Ended up tumbling down a hill."_

O'Hara had quickly agreed, explaining in detail how she had to go down the hill and help him. What would cause her two best officers to out and out lie to her? Just what kind of trouble were they in?

Karen quickly stood up, her feelings in huff. She turned to the two young men before her. She thanked them for their help as she headed for her office door; she had an investigation to conduct.

…P…

Juliet knelt patiently on the floor next to her partner's chair. She watched him unhappily go over his options as he examined his hand. She bit her lip and gave a soft sigh of relief as he stood up.

"Alright, O'Hara. We can go, but, I am not staying." Juliet nodded hurriedly, scrambling to her feet. She tapped her fingers on her thighs, trying to think.

"I'll grab all the info I have on her; you can read it over in the waiting room." She headed towards their work stations when his voice suddenly made her stop.

"O'Hara, actually, you and I need to talk." His low voice made her flinch, "That woman knew who you were. What is your relation to her?" His question made her shrink away from him slightly.

"You owe me this much, O'Hara…"

"No, Carlton. I owe you more." She sighed and pushed her hair out of her eyes, trying not to fidget, "Her name Blair Withers. She was my best friend from cheerleading camp, we both got kicked out together and when the time came we both entered the academy." She could not help herself, she began to fidget with the hem of her suit coat as she confessed softly.

"We graduated, became good cops, and half a year later I booked her drug trafficking charges." The statement made mixed emotions form in Lassiter; he was glad the girl had gone to jail but saddened at the fact that it hurt Juliet so much.

"So, why the nickname and why is she free?"

"We gave each other nicknames when we got kicked out of camp. She called me Switchblade because I looked nice and helpless on a first impression but could become violent fast…" She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, "Her nickname was Siren. She used to hit on everyone but me and had a tongue so silver that she could make almost anyone do what she wanted." She shifted her weight nervously, not liking to talk about her old friend.

"I can only imagine that silver tongue's what got her out of jail early. She should have been there for much longer." She pouted and bit her lip, lost in thought.

"She was asking you about maps, what did she mean?"

"A couple days before I busted her I found some hand written maps scattered all over our apartment. I was angry and suspicious, so I took them. I hid them away with my stuff, meaning to question her about them. Things got extremely confusing in the next couple days and I forgot about the maps. Actually, I haven't even thought about them until she brought them up."

Lassiter's detective's instincts were starting to kick in. He was growing more and more curious about the maps. He was increasingly concerned about what they lead to.

"Do you remember what was on the maps?" He could see her mind trying to remember as he asked the question.

"Unmarked trails. They looked like hand-written treasure maps. Not for the area, I think they were for the forest near here actually but I'm not sure what they lead to."

"Do you still have these maps?"

"They might be somewhere in my things. I don't think I left them behind." Juliet tried desperately to remember where she put them as they neared Lassiter's desk. She watched him organize something on his desk before turning back to her.

"O'Hara, we need to check your and Spencer's living space."

"You said you would go to the hospital." Juliet warned, anxious to get him some help.

"Fine. We'll go after the hospit-!"

"Detectives!" The anger in the chief's voice quickly made the two look up, "My office. Now…!"

…P…

Chief Vick dismissed the Psych team as she reentered her office. The two young men got up from their seats, for once not wanting to refuse her command to leave. As they wordlessly slipped out the door, they passed the two wayward detectives.

Juliet refused to look at them as she nervously watched Vick. Though, Shawn felt his blood run cold at the death glare he received from Lassiter as the man limped by. Lassiter had never used that intense of a glare on the fake psychic before and it kind of hurt.


	5. Chapter 4

_A/N: I am so, so sorry for how late and short this is. I've been so busy._

Chapter 4

Juliet blinked slowly, staring down blankly at the wordless statement paper sitting on her lap. She gave a slight gasp for air as she tried to settle her nerves and her thoughts. She found herself wondering how she could put on paper what had happened to her and Carlton.

She shivered weakly as she looked up and back at the door she sat next to. Inside the sterile room sat her partner as he was examined for wounds she could only feel were her fault. Had she never met Blair, this never would not have happened.

With a sigh, unable to get her thoughts in order, she laid her statement to the side. She would have to fill it out eventually but not right now. She was dragged from her thoughts of offending words by the familiar sound of sneakers squeaking on the hospital floor.

Her heart sank as she looked up to see Shawn walking towards her. She felt terrible, their relationship was only just starting to mend and now she had turned into the liar. Though, she could not see it play out any other way.

"Hey, Jules." Shawn whispered softly, his hand rested gently on her shoulder. He spoke low, for once trying not to upset or anger the man in the room. He focused on his girlfriend and tried not to think about the things Lassiter would have to be put through for the medical statement, "I came to take you to lunch, sweetheart. Thought you could use a break."

Shawn had felt horrible after getting the death glare from Lassiter in the morning. The detective's anger had never meant much to him but the level of hurt that had been in the glare had been heartbreaking. It had been no surprise when the chief had forced statement papers into the detectives' hand before sending them off to the hospital to get checked over.

Now, the fake psychic found himself staring down at his depressed girlfriend. The poor young woman looked like she had not slept in days, which Shawn feared was the truth. He had barely crawled back into her good graces and now tragedy had struck.

He offered her a hand to help stand. He could not bring himself to smile as she shakily took it. It broke his heart to see her so torn up emotionally.

"…How's Lassie?" The words were barely a whisper as he gently wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. Shawn was never good at "grown up" things but he had try with this one.

"I-I don't know… …They haven't finished examining him yet." Juliet replied weakly as she let her lover gently lead her down the hall, away from the detective's room, "…what'm I going to tell Marlowe… This is all my fault…!" Her self-hate made Shawn frown; he hated it when she beat herself up over things.

"Jules, it wasn't your fault that Lassie was-!" He stopped abruptly as she held her hand up briskly.

"He was not, Shawn…! …A-at worst, i-it was dubious consent." Juliet's reprimand was weak at best.

"What do you mean 'dubious consent'?" Shawn didn't like the sound of the phrase; he liked it even less as Juliet slowly pulled away.

"H-he volunteered…"

"Volunteered?! Who in their right mind would volunteer for that?! Has Lassie lost his mind?" Shawn felt like he was going insane, what would make Lassiter do such a thin?

"H-he did it to protect me, S-shawn…" She kept walking slowly, fidgeting with her wrists.

"What do you mean, Sweetheart?"

"Shawn, don't you get it? I was supposed to make me, Carlton took my place."

_Lassiter glared at Blair with cold determination. Their captor blink slowly before smiling softly, crossing her arms over her chest. The crazy woman in pirate garb let out a soft chuckle._

_"Quite the gentleman, aren't you? Taking care of the lady in your charge." She playfully pinched his cheek before skulking over to Juliet, "You got such a sweet partner, Switchblade." She rested her hands on Juliet's shoulders. _

_"Hey, Switch, I wonder how long your resolve can last as your partner suffers…"_

"Carlton didn't want me to be hurt; h-he did everything he could to keep me safe."


End file.
